[Satire] The Truth Behind Iceyfeet1234 and Covid-19

SUB ZERO, Ice Warriors’ Capital, Kally’s Igloo – For over eight months, the whole world has been on lockdown, suffering the consequences of a ruthless pandemic. Who is behind all of this?

[Satire Warning: This article is obviously a joke and intends to imitate the seriousness of conspiracy theorist articles. Iceyfeet has no connection to the Covid-19 pandemic.]

Iceyfeet1234, creator and current leader of the Ice Warriors is a man of many talents. Ever since 2007, he has led the army with a burning passion. Recruiting for countless hours, setting up thousands of new accounts with troops, he does it all. But what do you do when the army sizes start to diminish?

This brings us to December 2019. As we all know, the Ice Warriors were revived that month by Andrew and Ghost, but what else happened in December 2019? Covid-19 was first found in Wuhan, China. (An official situation report from the WHO can be found here) Coincidence? We think not.

Retired Leader Shinde voicing her concerns

Following the outbreak, many countries began to lock down and isolate. Schools had to retreat to Zoom, forcing students, the prime age-group for Club Penguin Armies, to spend countless hours on their computers. Now Icey, the mastermind knew this from the beginning as he dropped the Virus in Wuhan. One could count this to one of Icey’s most extreme forms of recruiting.

Iceyfeet1234 looking smug inside Wuhan airport

What followed was a massive influx of new players in not just Ice Warriors, but every army of the community. I’m sure you, my dear reader are asking yourself: Did he really do it? Is he really that big of a simp for recruits? The answer is yes. Yes, he is. He has even initiated a second wave, with the hope of keeping the troops in the army.

Proof

First of all, we can establish that Icey is very much recruiting-oriented in armies, which can also be seen in the screenshot below. A whopping 417 mentions of the word “recruit”! His total message count in the Ice Warriors Discord is 16’668, meaning that a staggering 2.5% of Icey’s messages in the server are related to recruiting. For comparison, the percentage for Regan would be 0.55% and 0.85% for Alex.

Ambitious… or obsessed?

To find some inside information, three members of the Ice Warriors were then contacted for a statement.

There have been allegations of Iceyfeet1234 being the mastermind behind the Covid-19 pandemic. Is this true?

Icey did it so he could get his best ever 2ic, ORegan619 back in the army. He made ORegan spend all of lockdown recruiting on CPO in order to max 165. Frankie and Rogue send their regardsRegan

Yes. As we have all seen with the start of school and work and the pandemic situation loosening up a bit, more and more people are deciding to retire to focus on their real life obligations. This has deeply hurt our beloved Mr. Feet and he is trying his best to think of a masterplan to make the troops stay. So he decided the best way to do it, is to spread the virus even more, so we would be all forced to go into lockdown and that would make us even more bored. That way everyone that retired would return and armies would shine in their full April glory again.LawCorazon

this is true, he tested it on me first, I must’ve been coughed on at least 4000 times. luckily I only lost a flipper in the process.Flamez

 

Iceyfeet1234 calling… himself? the “corona virus leader”?

Even the members agree, Iceyfeet1234 is the culprit behind the Covid-19 pandemic. He has even earned the nickname of “Corona Icey” from one of our beloved leaders.

Out of context? Never heard of her.

To top it all off, Iceyfeet1234 himself was contacted to find out for once and for all: Did Iceyfeet1234 cause Covid-19?

Screenshot of the brief conversation with the man himself

As we can see, he does not confirm, nor deny the allegations. But when do coincidences stop being just coincidences? Is it not time to reveal Iceyfeet1234 for what he really is? A criminal mastermind?

What do YOU think? Did Iceyfeet1234 plant Covid-19 for more recruits?

Let us know in the comment section below.

Kally

Ice Warriors Leader-in-Training

4 Responses

  1. Corona Icey

    Liked by 1 person

  2. LMAO THIS WAS HILARIOUS KALLY XD

    #CoronaIcey

    Like

  3. It all makes sense now

    Like

  4. Corona Leader

    Like

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