The story of how Funks got IW leader [None of the story is true, don’t take this seriously]

Posted on July 27, 2014 by nickle37915

Hello Ice Warriors!

I have information with startling facts that prove that Funks cheated his way to Ice Warriors leader! The leader we all know and most likely love is actually a dirty liar. Read on to learn more about this rising scandal!

The Vacation

Tes had an uncle and an aunt who lived in America. They decided to move to the United Kingdom purely to learn their way of speaking. In other words, they are anglophiles! Those dirty traitors! Succumbing to the British’s satanist way of life! The worst part is, they had a child. The child of American parents who’ve fallen into the trap of the British heathens. Furthermore, the child will play a part in the scandal soon enough. It was 2013, and Tes was forced to go visit his traitor relatives. He despised Brits and cursed at every one he can possibly find. This explains why there’s burnt United Kingdom flags in his room. So he packed up his clothes and supplies and off he goes to the United Kingdom. There, at the airport, he had a chance to curse. When he left the airport, he had lost his voice, and perhaps his dignity. You do not want to know what just happened, but I can tell you that his mouth is dead. His parents was very annoyed by his behavior and pretended that the boy called Tes was not their son. When they went outside, Tes saw a strange boy who looked like Funks. Mind you, this was before Funks joined the Ice Warriors. Tes got very paranoid and decided to hurry along to his taxi. As the taxi drove steadily down the road, Tes saw the boy who looked like funks again! Tes screamed so loudly that the glass window cracked. The taxi driver, infuriated, kicked Tes and his parents out of the car, and demanded 50 pounds for repairs and compensation for his ear loss. In American terms, that’s $84.90. Tes’s parents were not happy with spending so much money already, just to pay off a debt to an angry taxi driver. Fortunately, they’ve arrived at their destination anyways. As Tes steps inside the British house, he has no idea what he’ll expect.

The Confrontation

Tes saw his brainwashed cousin running towards him. The fat cousin squished his unprepared body as he starts blabbering about always wanting to meet him. Tes’s relatives laughed as Tes struggles to get the fat boy off his crushed chest. Tes’s relatives tried their best at their phony accents, but couldn’t really pull it off as they greeted Tes’s parents and him. Tes’s cousin starts begging him to meet his only friend. Tes sighs as he follows his plump cousin to the kitchen. There, he meets the worst nightmare of his life, Funks. Turns out, his cousin and Funks are good friends. Funks said Hi as Tes struggles to form words. As Funks stares Tes awkwardly, Tes runs up to the nearest computer. He starts searching xat.com/icewarriors and begins typing frantic messages. But before he could hit enter, Funks came in and saw he was on xat! Funks screamed, you’re Tes?! Tes nodded silently. Funks seem to understood that Tes knew that he was Funks. Funks had a devilish look on his face and begins explaining to Tes.

The Deal

Funks explained, that if he doesn’t get a high rank in the Ice Warriors, note that he already knew about the free ranks, he will tell Tes’s entire family about Club Penguin and all that good stuff. And to make things worse, Funks also said that telling his family about Club Penguin wouldn’t matter, because they already knew. Tes had to make a tough decision, accept the blackmail, and ruin his reputation. Tes, being the self-centered brat he always is, chooses to accept the blackmail. Tes regrets this decision as he walks away from the computer, pretending that conversation had never happened. Then, things get very creepy as the vacation goes on. Every day he wakes up, Funks is always there already! Funks keeps bugging Tes and threatening him. Tes, always obeying him to avoid any trouble. Sadly, even living in the United States won’t protect him from Creepy Funk’s master plan. As the vacation ends, things go downhill from here…

Threats

Tes is in his home after the vacation ended. Tes thought all that madness ended. Before he can finally calm down, he receives a phone call. Tes answered and was shocked to learn that it was Funks! Funks has discovered his address and his phone number, thanks to his stupid and fat cousin. Before Tes could hang up, Funks told Tes that if he doesn’t get leader quickly, then he’ll spread word through-out Tes’s relatives and Tes’s cousin’s friends. Tes did not want to risk being the laughing stalk and decides to abide. As months go by, Funks ranks up quickly. People in Ice Warriors are wondering what is going on here? Funks shouldn’t be ranking up this fast! Icey decides to investigate and finds no evidence of bias or bribes. As Funks thinks his plan went well, he slowly begins to feel guilty. Days go by and Funks would sometimes almost spill the plot. Luckily for Funks, he went on that long vacation, so he didn’t have to worry about spilling any secrets that would tarnish his reputation. But when he gets back from his vacation, he has more weight on his shoulder than anticipated. This is what lead him to his downfall and perhaps the truth discovered by me!

The Truth

I begin talking to Funks about random issues like Tes’s idiotness or the fact that Funks is British. But, he suddenly says something about bribes. Intrigued, I pressure him to continue talking about it. Finally Funks broke and started spilling to me all the plot. He had intentionally pressured Tes so he can get Ice Warriors leader. Funks also reveals that he has a strange desire to threaten Tes and admits that he is in love with him! I get shocked as I hear Funk’s announcement of homosexuality and the fact that he finally bursted. Before I could run off to Tes, Funks begins working his pressuring tactics on me! But too bad, I am immune to such devious attempts. I begin typing up this post and before you know it, all of the details are written out. I even interviewed Tes to get extra details so the story doesn’t seem like there’s any missing patches. I hope this information will help bring the evil British Funks to justice. Oh, and to add up on all the gossips, Funks revealed that he has naughty affairs with very high leveled officials in other armies to gain high ranks. Funks may be a strange deceptive person, but he’ll never ever be allowed back in the Ice Warriors. From this day on, Funks is banished from the Ice Warriors for using his strange pressuring skills on innocent boys that will fall prey to Funk’s false identity and trap! Thank you for reading this expose, and I hope you’ve learned everything to know about the scandal that has been discovered by me, Nickle37915.

Thank you for reading this story! Bye!