Ice Warriors: The Game Part 3 (It’s a long one so sit tight)

Posted on September 8, 2013 by nickle37915

You know the disclaimer about parental discretion and what not.

I was knocked out for a very long time. I heard colors and saw smells. Everything was twisted! The moment before I was knocked out, I saw Tes turning into something else. He also muttered that the plan was working? What does that mean? Something must’ve hit my head because my head aches but I can’t seem to wake up! Turns out, it was bleeding. But due to my numb body, I can’t do anything. I only prayed that I survived. Finally my eyes opened up. I was in a grassy fields in a pool of blood. Well this is a video game so I wasn’t really in pain. Tes was lying injured next to me. I guess we reached the bottom. Wait.. if we’re at the bottom, how come there’s no cliff walls? I checked my game guide. Of course! I fell through the game portal to advance to the next level. I guess the level is to reunite my team. Where do I even start? I found footprints of the bird that swiped Mara. I followed through countless forests and fields. Then through a Chris dildo plantation, past Albert’s flying stick pasture, and around Alicia’s jugs hills. Finally I ran into Mara. She was so glad to see me. But something was awfully off with her, her arm was scratched badly. I had to heal her using my magical cookie potion with taco bells. Then we set off to find Cece. She was around here somewhere because traces of berries were going in a direction. We found Cece fending off a cute bunny! Awww, it’s so cute! How is that dangerous? When it turned around…. IT WAS A SLENDERBUNNY! WE ARE GOING TO DIE!!!

It jumped on Cece and started mauling her head off. Soon she was dead on the ground. She respawned with 2 lives left! What do we do now?! Of course, Slenderbunnies hate Unitatoes! Soon we unleashed the combo and the bunny vaporized. Wait a minute, I said. I checked my guide frightfully. We’re in the SLENDERBUNNY PASTURES! We had to get out of here. Soon a huge crowd of Slenderbunnies started chasing us. We saw a portal up ahead and we crashed right through. It appears we’re on the other side of that cliff that we fell into. We continued into the sunset when Tes just gave birth to camel children! What the hell, he isn’t pregnant! Wait a second, he’s a Tes Camel, so males get pregnant! Strange world we live in. They were so cute as they followed Tes. We carried them on our backs so they don’t get chased by lollipop doggies. That’s right, we’re riding into a candy field. Level 5 seems so far away because this is one of the longest levels I’ve been in.

As we finally approach level 5, I was wondering where did the boss go? I shouldn’t have said that at all… A gigantic ape like creature crashed onto the ground. He appeared to be fuzzy because he was covered in Slenderbunnies. He roared and started chucking slenderbunnnies at us. We had to be very careful because the bunnies can easily kill us. We dodged perilously and we decided to use the ultra rare combo. Mara + Tes + Cece! Soon the entire world was filled with Donkeys! The donkeys ate the slenderbunnies and started climbing the ape. As the ape was freaking out, we grabbed our weapons and repeatedly jabbed him. Finally he was finished. If I know gaming, it’s that bosses usually come back. And sadly I was right, he was alive and twice as strong as before!.

We were using the same combo again. But this time, the ape simply squished the poor donkeys and blood soon filled the battlefield. We were extremely mad. We decided to use the baby camels. They combined into a mega Godzilla like camel. They roared out spit and started tackling the ape! But the ape wasn’t giving up that easily, he side punched the camel forcing them to jerk back. The camel jumped on the ape, but they missed. The ape squished the children, but the children had a few tricks up their sleeves. They spit at the ape so he would suffocate. It was working because he can’t breathe. While the camels have the chance, they jumped on the ape so hard that his head fell off. The ape was depixelated as we celebrate with victory. Who was the next person to join our team? Wait a minute, the level wasn’t over?!

I was extremely confused. You’re telling me that the level wasn’t finished?

“Calm down Nickle!” said Tes.

“Nickle, this is the longest level in the game” said Mara

“Nickle nickle nickle, you silly pickle!” taunted Cece. I punched her in the nose. How are we going to get out of here? We found a suspicious path of glowing stones. We were lost so we had no choice but to follow that path. We entered a strange village full of people talking in many languages. I noticed some spoke French, German, English, and even Swahili. This was pretty cool that they can somehow understand each other! But I wasn’t here for a multilingualism fest, I was desperate to find the exit. I asked one of the villagers and they suddenly brought out a gun. It seems we’re in a hostile village because all of them glared at us. Wow, so much for the desperation! We were locked in jail made out of gold. Were they rich? I have no idea, but I don’t care. I decided to use my latest combo. Mara + Tes = Cray Cray! They broke the jail and eventually the entire village. Yikes, now the villagers were trying to shoot us! One hit my head, I am almost dead until I found a fountain and drank from it. My health healed very nicely. We quickly ran far away and into a mysterious forest. After a very long trip, we managed to get out and we found a desert. Looks like this was level 5! But before we can even start adventuring, a gigantic Cactus monster appeared!

We simply burned it and it died. We knew that it wasn’t completely dead. It was resurrected as an ancient Egyptian Sphinx! It roared so loudly that our ears popped! We knew we were in big trouble! We used countless combos but it didn’t seem to die at all. Suddenly we realized that we were going to die! It slammed Mara and she had 1 life left. Then it squished the camels and they only have a half life left. Then it jabbed me into a wall, I had a quarter life left. Cece was so angry at how it was defeating us that she used her legendary skill! She somehow leveled up to level 30! She inhaled and let out a roar. She then grabbed potatoes and turned them into atomic bombs and threw them at the Sphinx! They exploded and radiated the Sphinx! Finally it crumbled. We were at awe at Cece’s ability. We didn’t even talk for an hour before we decided to move on. Alicia has joined us! She hated Tes as we can tell because as soon she joined our party, they started arguing. I sense troubles way ahead in our adventure.

The Camel children were getting exhausted so we set up a siesta and took a very long nap. In the middle of the night, a huge crashing sound appeared and we heard screaming. I tried to open my eyes but I couldn’t, it seems they were taped shut! What was I going to do?!