The Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn

Sub Zero, August 13th, 2022

They say if you want to tell a story right, you gotta start at the beginning.

[Disclaimer: There are some un-family-friendly things in this post, you’ve been warned.]

Club Penguin was never my thing. I spent my childhood playing girly stuff like Stardoll and Miss Bimbo, and sometimes spent hours of my days curating the perfect family on Sims 2. Jump to July 2018. Boredom had overtaken me and influenced by internet memes, I wanted to check out Club Penguin Online. Very quickly, I found myself on Discord chatting for hours on end with various people in the CPO community (shoutout to Daisy10101). 

OG kalsiluh discord account (now deleted)

My army career started only after I had gotten myself hooked on CPO drama. Around mid-August on the server Alaska, my eye was caught by a red-named penguin yelling: “Attention attention! Join Rockhopper’s army today! Earn free coins by joining!” Intrigued, I decided to check it out. 

The bottom 2 pics show me at one of my first events as kalsiluh (my OG username) and PirateKals only a few days later on my fresh army account.

Can you find kalsiluh?

Or PirateKals?

Being a Pirate was exhilarating, I had new friends, I had events to attend, and ranks to achieve. Yet quickly I noticed how unpleasant the leadership could be, which made me dual-enlist as a troop for the Elite Trackers and Activities army (what a name, right?). I even remember getting banned from ETA at one point since the two were considered enemies, but after promising to never join a Pirate event again, I was a full-time ETA troop.

Legendary ETA (and Daisy!)

Speaking of bans, in October 2018, I remember discussing “The Good Place” series on the CPO server and how they would bypass cursing on the show. Example: Shirt instead of shit, fork instead of fuck. Somehow I managed to mistype the word shirt and get banned shortly thereafter. (Asia, Africa or whichever continent you were called, that ban was totally unfair) My heart was BROKEN.

After setting up a second account from public wifi with a fresh IP, I was back! Sadly though, my career was short-lived, as ETA closed its army branch on November 2nd, 2018. With that gone, my army career was considered to be over.

January 2020, and it has now been over a year of hibernation. During winter break, I wonder whether I should check out CPO again. Instead of a pirate penguin, I encounter an orange one named RexTillerson. A Dorito bunch? I decided to check it out just for the memes. 

Find kalsiluh!

Same event from my POV

Being a chip was an experience. Whilst in Pirates and in ETA, I didn’t care about armies as such, I was just there to waste my time and have fun. This time though, I actually felt respected by the leaders and kept getting promoted on a regular basis. My Harley Quinn profile pic era was only starting and I was happier than ever. It was also where I first realised that CP was secretly an online dating site. 

First CPO wedding I attended! If you know you know </3

At this point, I want to shout out my first proper Chip friends: Luci and Mythic. Even though I was a dumbass I was having proper fun with the chips and I was even accepted to the staff team on March 4th and I was on top of the world.

Start of the end

Proud Lieutenant General

Logging on – kalsiluh [Alaska, Town]
Changing to [Alaska, Plaza]
Logging off – kalsiluh [Alaska]

^Do that every day so you recruit for at least 30 minutes a day. Yes it was mandatory. Eventually all of the recruiting and the aboooooos coming our way from a certain leader, started a proper riot in the staff team. We all really loved being in DCP, and it was our home. The Ice Warriors were considered the biggest enemies and that mentality was also ingrained into my brain. As my friends were leaving for IW, my pride wouldn’t let that happen and I followed my friends Luci and Mythic to the Crimson Guardians.

TEA!

Now okay. Crimson Guardians were nice and all, but they didn’t give me staff. My heart wanted to be staff, and I wanted to make a difference. So one day later, even though I was so opposed to doing it, I decided to swap over to the Ice Warriors and snatch myself a staff rank along with my fellow DCP Refugees. To my surprise, everybody was super nice?

gone for good 🙂

That 5ic 7ic drop

Summer 2020 was a vibe. Majority of the time I was being a local on main chat with Panini (love you so much), with all of us just messing around on CPO having weddings, or playing UNO, or discussing literally anything. I wasn’t really taking anything seriously, and I was having a lot of fun. I remember feeling really defeated despite everything that I didn’t get Leader in Training earlier. Eventually it did happen, on 9/11/2020, but due to an unfortunate main-chat accident I have no visual proof of it.

Mom I made it!

Finally being LiT, I had my first experiences with leading (and Madhav in my DMs saying to be AGGRESSIVE and just LEAD). At the same time, I was working my way up the ladder in CPAH as a reporter, which I really enjoyed. After being Reporter of the Month back to back in both October and November, I was so happy to have something to be proud of. December 17th, after Orange joined the CPAH admin team, I was promoted to Associate Producer as well. 

!!! no life !!!

This post wouldn’t be complete without mentioning Hold Bugs and Water Ninjas. Even though I spent approx. 2 weeks leading HBA in August, Water Ninjas, then under Orange’s advisory, taught me everything I needed to lead Ice Warriors later on. With IceQueen, DrQueen and Freedomist, we created history by killing Water Vikings in a battle as a colony, and reaching Water Ninja’s size record of 48 penguins. Little did I know back then it was the start of the most amazing friend group I could ever dream of. Sadly though, we were forced to close our doors in January of 2021.

OG HBA Tactic

beep boop

Water Ninjas’ final event

@DrQueen I win.

On April 25th, I was promoted to IW leader. Everything felt so crazy and it felt amazing to have literally no one in my way anymore. If you are interested, you can read about my first thoughts as a leader in this post: Leaders Lounge  

Being an IW Leader has been an absolute privilege, and having the IW Legend role accompany that just warms my heart, even just being nominated for Major Army legend is an absolute honour. We did some amazing things during my 15 months of leadership, my top two will always be our #1 in 2021 and our 2022 March Madness win. 

Nr. 1 Army of 2021!

March March Champions

I will say the past 15 months have absolutely flown by so my memory is low-key faded. LCXI, CCXI, Ausia Arena were all great, but the only memories that really stick out are the #1 feeling and our March Madness semi-win against RPF. The absolute euphoria of winning that battle made every minute spent on IW worth it.

😎

So here we are now, 4 years later. There are plenty of things I wish I had done differently, but overall I had a pretty good run. The past year has been so wild both IRL and online, and my school and research have become increasingly important. Simply put, I don’t have the time to be the leader IW needs right now. 

I will still stick around to help here and there, but I hope to stay in touch with all of you. Just message me if you want to talk. Finally, after this super-detailed, and then not-so-much memoir, I’d like to shout out some of the people I consider to be my friends (In no particular order please don’t overthink it).

Messages

Icey

I think you already know how thankful I am to have had you around and I’m even more grateful for you to even give me a chance to lead your army. Although you’re an absolute clown and a troll, it’s really fun to talk to you and to spend time with you. as2[rf#*%*sr%*gcm] Ç[@engeoti24r ]{}#vn -sorry I was in a dead zone. It’s been fun having midnight calls and having you screech in my ear on vc. Let me know whenever you need my help on Facebook or Instagram and I’ll help you beat your rival anytime. Much love old man ❤

Past leaders

Here’s to all of you: Shinde, Regan, Madhav, Flamez, Ben, Law, and Orange. I’m extremely grateful to have had you lead IW in 2020 and 2021 and to advise us newbies on how club penguin armies even work. I thank you, Shinde for showing us how big of an impact troop interaction can have. Regan, for all the pints and shit guitar hero duels, I really hope I proved you wrong. Madhav, thank you for never backing down, and always being prepared for the worst. Flamez, for literally dumpstering every single person who dares to cross you. Ben, for making us laugh in even the shittiest of situations. Law, my thanks to you for showing us how hard work really does pay off. Last but not least, Orange, for always being there for me and the water ninja crew, and teaching us literally everything we know today. All of you have left a lasting impact on me that I will always cherish.

My Avo Family

No fucking clue how I even ended up with this group of people, but you lot have made club penguin a thousand times funnier than it’s supposed to be. No matter how messed up my brain got at times you guys somehow still wanted to hang out with me. There are not enough words to describe how much I care about you guys, so thank you for being yourselves and letting me get to know you. MEOW MEOW I LOVE U ALL – Yours truly, thighs

Meow

The gang

Merry Chrysler

IceQueen

First of all, go back to primary school and pay attention! There aren’t many people who are as kind as you and I’m really grateful for all the memories we have made together. It’s been a wild ride with you and even though I have literally had to yell at you to get my point across, we somehow get along just fine (to readers: dw she yells back). Here’s to many more sushi boxes in tiny hotel rooms, and overly spicy nandos that make us both want to cry and MANY MANY TIT PUNCHES!!! Also gUYS CAN WE GET THIS ON THE STARBOARD PLSSSSS

no u shut the fuck up

DrQueen

MAMI DJ DOCTAQUEEN -TWERKS- You my girl never fail to make me laugh and you are lowkey one of the smartest people I know, and what you do is always so impressive to me. We’ve been through so much shit and so many arguments together but seeing you happy always makes my day. I’m glad you’re still here and to have watched you go from SiT to this powerhouse of a Leader. Anyways Ms Doctor, I’ll meet you in the hotel motel holiday inn. Dale. Also good luck at those mf board meetings, hope your brain survives.

Mami admiring the view

Met Black Widow on Fortnite

Freedomist

Товарищ Фридомист, спасибо за то, что ты был моим товарищем-коммунистом в руководстве водных ниндзя. Никогда не изменяйте.

Now here’s the English part: Please try to NOT get any nasal sticks stuck in your brain anymore and GOOD LUCK with an all-female leadership team. Also, tell your mom hi from me 😉 LOVE U SHITOMIST

! You heard the man

Levelz

uwu meow owo :3  meow meow owowowo uwu meow! Ok jk lol we used to spend so many hours on VC and playing literally every game on the universe (MC, Roblox, Sims, anything, you name it) and you always share the cutest kitty content :3 Even the tiktok videos that I said are too many sometimes make me so happy cause I know they make YOU happy (visualising u cuddled up in bed staring at ur phone and kitties). There’s so many amazing memories in the past that I can’t sum up here so just know I can’t wait to see you as leader and see how you do! Oki goodnight meow :3

Racist moment???

feat. kitty cat

rawr meow meow purr

Avo children

Abi, Chevy, Purple, and Sally: Sorry for being a shitty mom, but at least I hopefully fed you well -kith-

Purple will now have to carry on the family legacy!!

IW HCOM, Staff and SiTs

Ok there are a lot of you from the past 2.5 years, so I’m not going to go over every single one of you cause I don’t want this post to be a full novel once I’m done, but just know that I’m very grateful for each and every one of you for even taking the time out of your day to spend it on a Club Penguin group. You guys are awesome and I love you all ❤

BIA

I’m not gonna say much cause I like my kneecaps but love u all mwah mwah 👼 BIA 4EVER

Vikings

THANK YOU FOR A FUN LAST BATTLE X

Hey Aaron if you’re reading this please log on to Ice Breaker, Iceberg 🙂 lmao all jokes aside, you’re a solid dude and I wish you all the best. Keep standing up for what is right. Don’t hurt her or I’ll IRA your car. 

Paddy-paddy! It’s kinda weird we never talked before like 2022, but you’re actually pretty cool. Although you suck at both checkers and carrom gold, thanks for the craic and the late-night ludo losses. Pints?

Disha!!! You have a literal heart of gold and I’m so glad to have met you. Please never change, and keep spreading the positivity and good vibes ❤

Helpers

WHY ARE WE CURSED? There have been zero Help Force events that haven’t ended in disaster. 80% of the time Club Penguin just dies on us. WTH?

Best wishes to you Wynn, you’re a solid leader and I’m glad that there are so many cool WOMEN around leading armies right now. Send me all of your Sims content and I’ll judge you for all of it!!!

Diwix please bring curry to retirement island.

CPA/H/UM/N & IWNC Media Teams

I had no better way of abbreviating all of those alive and DEAD media teams. Although I’m still sticking around for a while, it has been fun working in media for almost the majority of my CPA career, and it really shows a different side to CPA that many don’t even notice is there. Thank you to all the editors who helped me find my niche in reporting and the reporters who keep CP media alive to this day. Most of you will come up later on but Caramel cutie here’s your mention LOL and thank you Scorp for all those 9s and 10s back in 2020, you really made my average score go crazy.

Credit: Luci

Crazzy

Girl… You alr know that I’ve been your biggest fan since like 2020, but I’m so glad you’ve stuck around! You’re so fun to talk to and spend time with so I’ll defo be texting you at random times during the day… Let me know how your online purchases go! Keep your eyes open for those red flags and remember that if he won’t, a girl named Kally definitely will 👼#MommyCrazzy #SlippinNSlidin

Lucifer

Who would have thought we’d be here 2.5 years later… You truly were one of my first friends after my return to armies in DCP and even later on. Even though you dragged me to CG for a day, you still supported me swapping to IW later on. Thank you for the laughs, and good luck with your no-life studies 🤓 

Sophie

First of all, you’re a child. Second of all, I don’t know any children with the sheer amount of talent that you have. Your maturity and writing blows me away to this day, please keep it up. You’re such a sweetheart just please nEVER START DOING THAT THING WE TOLD YOU NOT TO DO. Thanks, uwu

Max

Max! I know I’m not retiring but I still wanted to shout you out since you’ve been my #1 influence in CP media. What you do is unmatched and no one can compare to your ability to put together a solid team and media output. I’ll forever be learning from your skills, and your kindness to people, and I hope your love for media never dies! A thousand x’s for you dear! xxxxxx

Superhero

Malaka! I really wish we had become friends before 2022 because you’re such a genuine dude I never thought I’d have so much in common with. Sorry to disappoint, Olympus Feta wasn’t my fave, but we can defo play some Yu-Gi-Oh! together someday! Thank you for being a friend and good luck with everything (ykwim!)!! Waiting for that e-proposal still LMFAO

Panini

Come by my pool anytime. You’re absolutely mentally unhinged but you are sO much fun!!! You made IW in 2020 so much more bearable so THANK YOU for the laughs and the candy! Love you girl ❤

Vanish

You wanted to be in this post so badly so HERE YOU ARE. Thanks for taking care of my sleep schedule on a daily basis. Somehow you’re not as lame as you seem and we’ve had some really good deep convos in the past. You really helped me get through some dark stuff and always knew exactly what to say, so a big big big thank you. 🙂

Mare

What in the upper middle class – 

JK you’re such a sweet person and you’re such fun to be around so thank you for being chaotic in IW main chat at the weirdest hours of the day! Mwah, stay cool!

Funny pictures, moments etc.

Order is random cause I had too many to have the energy to organise.

The PG version 🙂

w/ DrQueen on ACNH ❤

HF’s Pina Colada Games Tournament

Blue pistol is my fave fortnite gun

[not out of context]

Thank you Ash ❤

I guess that’s it. It’s been a wild ride, and so many people have played their part to get me where I am today. Whether it was tournament wins, media drama, or even heartbreak, it all added to this journey. Thank you, and as always…

Treat People With Kindness!

6 Responses

  1. LOVE YOU ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Liked by 1 person

  3. 😭❤

    Liked by 1 person

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